As always, thank you for remaining connected through this site and a special shut out to all of you in Boston who have responded so promptly regarding my upcoming trip there.
Yes, it'll be a hit-and-run kind of affair, with only two days in Boston, but I hope to go back there in the future and build upon this upcoming visit. If you have met me, you know I prefer to get to know you through time. And yet, I am always OK if we only see each other once.
That said, I thought I'd share with you an exchange I had yesterday with a Bostonian man who was curious about my work but wanted to know a little more about my practice. In his words:
"I am interested in a 90 min. experience and learning more about a session too. What's involved, cost, what to expect..."
His message stood out because he used the word "experience" which not many people do. So I was certainly looking forward to meeting him. Unfortunately, my limited availability meant that our schedules wouldn't work this time around. So I answered via text:
Yes. First, I am flexible with rates. I'm sure we can agree on something that works for both. Then, just in general, I use tantric shamanic methods to help you relax and let go of control. Leather is part of the equation as I know the cathartic effects of a spanking or flogging, for example.
My goal is to create a safe space in which we both have an opportunity to be more fluid and in the moment.
You can also see it as what it is, a journey in the shamanic sense of traveling with vision. In the work I do, the experience is more immersive as it involves sound, scents and touch.
I can of course take care of muscle soreness and the like, and I use hot water to release muscular tension, so the session is therapeutic as well.
Hope this helps.
To which he replied:
"Very helpful. I'm intrigued ... like the idea as a sexual alpha of giving up the control."
Exactly.
And that is just one side of the coin. There are also men who would normally consider themselves submissive but who really aren't. Submission--for some--is about giving up control looking for a dom who can do what the sub wants. That's another form of control. The passive-aggressive kind. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's just a lot of work, and not the fun kind.
I am not here to fulfill fantasies. I offer my craft to you so that we both can have the opportunity to be more mindful and at ease in each other's presence.
Which reminds me, someone else asked if I do what I do because I like to be in control. Sure, there is a part of me that enjoys that kind of power, but ultimately this is not about wanting to be in control. It's about letting go. I have to be in control of the experience because I am inviting you into my practice. But that doesn't mean that my role is fixed. Whenever I go into a session, I too, have to learn to be fluid and mindful of my actions. And you have to feel safe being with me in my space, and vice versa, so that we both can go into the experience trusting that the journey has a structure-- a beginning, a middle and an end--and that we both will feel 'transformed' so to speak, by it.
The key to this is non-action. That means mindfulness. Anchoring one's mind in the breath and learning to trust the intuitive nature we all possess, to just be.
That is the practice.